Some Definitions.....

ATOM BOMB : An invention to end all inventions.

BOSS : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

CIGARETTE : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and fool on the other.

CLASSIC : Books which people praise, but do not read.

COLLEGE : A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

COMMITTEE : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

COMMITTEE : A body that keeps minutes and wastes hour. 

COMPROMISE : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believeshe got the biggest piece.

CONFERENCE : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

CONFERENCE ROOM : A place where everybody talks,nobody listens and everybody disagreeslater on.

CONSERVATIVE : A man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

COURTSHIP : The period during which the girl decides whether or not she can do any better.

CREDITOR : A man who has better money than a debtor.

CRIMINAL : A guy no different from the rest.. except that he gets caught.

CRITIC : A wet blanket that soaks everything it touches.

DICTIONARY : A place where divorce comes before marriage . 

DIVORCE : Future tense of marriage.

DIAMOND : A woman's idea of a stepping stone to success.

DIPLOMAT : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually lookforward to the trip.

DOCTOR : A person who kills your ills by pills, and then kills you with his bills.

ECSTASY : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

ECONOMY : Denying us a necessity today in order to buy a luxury tomorrow.

EGOTIST : A man who tells you those things about himself which you intended to tell him about yourself.

ETC. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

EXPERIENCE : The name men give to their mistakes.

FATHER : A banker provided by nature.

LOVE AFFAIRS: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular thana five day test.

LECTURE : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes ofthe students without passing through "the minds of either"

MARRIAGE : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.

MISER : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

OFFICE : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

OPPORTUNIST : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

OPTIMIST : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am notinjured yet."

PESSIMIST : A person who says that O is the last letter in NO, Instead of the first letterin word OPPORTUNITY.

PHILOSOPHER : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

POLITICIAN : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

SMILE : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

TEARS : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

YAWN : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails

Software Engineer: One who is drowning in water, and shouting 'F1 , F1 ' . (for HELP).

S/W ENGINEER: ONE WHO GETS PAID FOR READING SUCH MAILS!!!!!!